Irish Jokes

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as 
chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in 
Marquette. 
 
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to 
talk shop. 
 
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't 
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. 
 
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They 
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and 
attempt to convert it. 
 
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. 
 
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and 
has various bandages, goes first."Well," he says, "I went into the 
woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to 
him from the Catechism. Well, *that bear* wanted nothing to do with 
me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, 
sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a 
lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first 
communion and confirmation." 
 
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm 
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and 
brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we 
don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began 
to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted 
nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to 
wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another 
until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him 
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as 
gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the night praising Jesus." 
 
They both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital 
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors 
running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. 
 
The Rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may 
not have been the best way to start." 
......................................................................................

80 year-old O'Reilly went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor
asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and
I've never felt better.Sure I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with
my child. So what do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an
older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a
season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry
and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared
a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent
creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang,bang'. Miraculously, two
shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now! O'Reilly, what do you think of
that?" asked the doctor.

O'Reilly said, "If you ask me doc, sure I'd say somebody else pumped a couple
of rounds into that beaver."

                      "My point exactly" replied the doctor!